The issue of money or not enough money is one of the major issues that affect marriages all over the world and religious leaders are not in any way helping issues as the majority of them are in the habit of lying to their followers that if they want money from God if they want to be financially super wealthy they should sow money towards the work of God and the gullible ignorantly and stupidity believed them and give their all.
One of the master manipulators of prosperity and healing preachers in Nigeria who had over the years robbed several people of their wealth and incomes and whose false teachings and sowing principles had led so many people into prison and some to their early graves recently said that “no matter how well you serve God, God will never give you good health and money. It is your sole responsibility to make that happen for yourself”. Yet, these are the very things he had used over the years to steal from innocent gullible people all over the world.
In Proverbs 21:20 King Solomon said, “There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.” Another translation says, “Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.” But I love this translation more, “The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get.” You are a fool, a big fool if you are in the habit of spending all your money on whatever you think is right you are spending it on.
So many people are not financially poor, they are only financially stupid and that is the reason why they will never be rich or financially comfortable.
Whether you’re just married or recently moved in together, there is no special time to start talking/planning your financies together than now. This is the right time to talk about money. Yes, it might sound unromantic and your Wife might not want to talk about it especially if she is the kind of woman who believes that a man must shoulder all the financial responsibilities in a home and have 1 Timothy 5:8 where Apostle Paul a man who doesn’t know what it means to be married or being responsible as a married man means saying “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.” as her back up, then you are doomed.
Money is a common cause of stress in relationships and marriages, and if left unaddressed, it can impact more than just your wallet, it might cost you your freedom, your health, and your peace and if not careful send you to an early grave.
To manage joint finances in a marriage or partnership, do the following:
Communication
Making sound financial decisions is already hard enough as an individual. But when you factor in another person’s ideas and beliefs about money, making joint financial decisions can be even more challenging. Shifting your mindset from “yours and mine” to “ours” requires good communication and compromise.
Share your idea of how you envision your financial life together as a couple. Be open and honest with your partner. This is all about building trust, lying or withholding information can lead to bigger problems later in the future. To make this happen as a couple you will need to use the power of compromise to be successful. Making financial decisions may not be the easiest or most natural practice, but with regular check-ins, it will become easier for you and your partner to get on the same page.
Marriage is variously described as an equal partnership, a merger, or a union. No matter how you describe yours, you likely agree that communication is key to your happiness. You and your spouse will need to communicate on all major issues including lifestyle choices, parenting, sex, and, of course, money. Money issues are among the major reasons marriages fail.
Lack of communication about money is among the top reasons marriages fail.
Creating a budget together will provide a framework for avoiding conflict about finances.
Using software to track your money can increase your efficiency and make it easier to stay on top of spending.
A once-a-week “money date” can foster continued communication and help you achieve your financial goals and life dreams.
Budget
In Luke 14:28 Jesus said, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”
To build a strong and financial stress-free marriage with your spouse create a budget. Creating a budget with your spouse is one of those less-discussed issues of being married. Working it out is a significant part of learning to be married, or getting better at it.
A budget can help improve your spending habits, pinpoint areas where you can lower your overall expenses, and build savings. Start by discussing your income and reviewing your financial documents. It is also a good idea to get credit scores for each of you to establish a baseline for your financial wellness.
After breaking down your current financial situation, you’ll need to create a budget that works to reach your financial goals. Together, establish both short-term and long-term goals and decide how the money in your shared and individual accounts will be used. Some categories to consider in this process include debt (loans and outstanding bills), cash flow (bank account balances and salaries), investments (401(k)/IRA and mutual fund contributions), and assets (property and vehicles).
Budgeting as a couple can sometimes lead to over-spending, especially if you are both earning, and your combined incomes add up to more than your individual needs. Before you adjust spending to match the higher income, make sure to establish some new savings goals to tackle things that were tough to save for with only one income. To help keep you on track, you can set up a spending plan in an Excel or Google Sheets document. You can also use labelled envelopes for each spending category and allot yourself an amount of money each week or month. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to managing finances as a couple. You may need to try a few options before finding the one that works best for both of you.
The Budget Solution
Money doesn’t have to be a contentious issue. Whether your marital status is “soon-to-be,” “newlywed,” or “been in the trenches awhile,” the key to handling money is having a financial agenda or budget. Budgets can sound complex and difficult, but they don’t have to be. A budget is simply a best guess regarding the amount of income you and your spouse will receive over a set period, along with how you plan to use it.
Start by sketching out a basic budget plan together. Then, once you and your spouse have a budget, following your plan is just a matter of checking in with each other regularly. Ideally, you will do this using free or inexpensive software to track your ongoing financial success in a way that is easy, accurate, and quick (see more on this in Step 6). Here are the seven steps to follow.
Step 1: Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals
Divide your financial goals into short-, medium-, and long-range categories to make sure you are planning for your present and your future. Your short-term, medium-term, and long-term financial goals will have a huge impact on your overall budget.
Short-term goals typically take one or two years to achieve and include things like creating a three-to-six-month emergency fund, paying off credit card debt, and saving for a special vacation.
Medium-term goals include saving for a down payment on a house, paying cash for a new car, or paying off student loan debt. This can take up to 10 years.
The most important long-term goal anyone can have is saving for retirement and that requires saving and investing for most of your working life, which can be up to 40 years—or even longer.
When it comes to setting goals, many people rely on the S.M.A.R.T. acronym. The words have varied, but the ones often used for financial goal-setting are:
Specific: State your goal in a few well-chosen words. “We want to own a condo in the Bahamas.”
Measurable: How will you know you’ve achieved your goal? “How much will it cost?”
Achievable: It must be something you can accomplish financially given your means. “Can we save that much given our current and predicted future income?”
Realistic: Even if achievable, does it make sense in your situation? “What will we have to give up and is that okay?”
Time-based: Your timeline will tell you whether this is a short-, medium-, or long-term goal. “How long will this take?”
Use S.M.A.R.T. to test and, if necessary, adjust your goals. If buying a condo in the Bahamas is out of reach or takes too long to achieve, how about a timeshare? Or opting for a stateside beach resort instead?
You may have to set some goals aside to be revisited later—say, after you get a big raise or promotion.
Step 2: Determine Your Net Income
Once your financial goals are set, take stock of your monthly income. Gross income is the amount you have before taxes and deductions. That doesn’t help create a budget, although any amount that comes out for retirement, a pension, or Social Security does come into play later so be sure to note it in the money you use to budget. For purposes of creating a budget, use your net monthly income—your take-home pay. This is the amount you receive before spending begins.
If you and your spouse are paid a salary or an hourly wage, your net income is likely stable. If either of you has irregular income through seasonal work, self-employment, or sales commissions, you will need to revisit the income section at least monthly.
Step 3: Add Up Mandatory Expenses
Mandatory expenses consist of costs you must pay every month. Examples include housing, which could be in the form of a mortgage payment or rent, car payments, gasoline, parking, utilities, student or other loan payments, insurance, credit card payments, and food. For some people food becomes “what’s left over after all the bills are paid,” but you and your spouse should have a rough idea of the minimum amount you need to spend on groceries and include it as a mandatory expense. Subtract mandatory expenses from your net income. If your combined monthly net income is $8,000 and your mandatory expenses total $4,000, for example, you have $4,000 to carry forward to Step 4.
Step 4: Calculate What You Need To Save
Refer to Steps 1 and 2 to determine how much you need to save to reach your financial goals (Step 1), as well as how much is covered by tax deductions for a 401(k), IRA, or pension (Step 2). Include all of this in Step 4 before moving on. Subtract the amount you need to save (for retirement and other goals) from the amount left over in Step 3. That is the amount available for the next category—discretionary spending.
Let’s say the total amount you need to save each month is $1,600. Subtract that from the $4,000 left over in Step 3, and you have $2,400 for the next step.
Step 5: Divvy Up Discretionary Spending
Discretionary spending is just what it sounds like—spending on things you want but don’t need. You and your spouse will likely have your most interesting “discussions” about discretionary spending, so buckle up. Discretionary spending means paying for the things you do or enjoy together such as eating out, vacations, watching cable/streaming shows, or wearing matching outfits for this year’s ugly Christmas sweater party. It also includes how much you spend individually. This could include individual nights out with friends, sports (e.g., tennis for one of you, golf for the other), or any of several different types of activities that each of you does with others or by yourself. Beyond the basics, it could include clothes, electronics, and how fancy a car you drive.
List all potential discretionary spending and categorize it as “joint” or “individual” spending. Discretionary spending typically is its mini-budget, created monthly based on available discretionary funds. In the example above, you have $2,400 left over for discretionary spending. That will not likely be the case every month, which means you and your spouse will need to negotiate discretionary spending with each other monthly. This will often require sacrifices from both of you. If you both accept an equal amount of pain, conflict can be minimized. And despite the need for negotiation, marriage does tend to have a positive impact on your financial picture.
Step 6: Select Your Budgeting Software
Now comes the fun part. Armed with your basic budget, you’re going to look for budgeting software that meets your needs and that both of you feel comfortable using. While almost any budgeting software program or app will work, some have features that are specifically designed to be used by couples. Three are described here.
YNAB
You Need A Budget (YNAB for short) is designed around the zero-based budgeting principle that requires you to “Give Every Dollar a Job.” It works best for people who are willing to be involved in their finances and change old habits to make the system work.
YNAB runs on Windows and Mac computers and via Alexa. It has both iPhone and Android apps available, making it a true cross-platform system. The software connects to bank and credit card accounts but does not track investments. YNAB budgets can be shared among multiple users and the YNAB site even offers information on how to budget as a couple. Designed for budgeting beginners, the platform features tutorials, videos, and a weekly podcast. YNAB comes with a 34-day free trial, after which it costs $14.99 per month (or $99 for the whole year).
Step 7: Schedule a Weekly Money Date
With the software selected and up and running, the final step is to keep communication open and ongoing. Schedule a “money date” once a week to check in and re-evaluate your goals. Talking about finances regularly will keep you and your spouse on the same page and motivated to meet your goals. It doesn’t have to be a five-hour conversation, especially since your budgeting software will be doing most of the work. Discussing your budget over a glass of wine or while cooking dinner can be an enjoyable way to spend time together while keeping finances under control.
The Bottom Line
Setting up a budget, keeping track of it, and checking in with each other once a week to review where you are can keep money conflicts to a minimum and help you, as a couple, meet the goals you set out for yourselves. What better way to start a new marriage on the best footing—or solidify a long-established union?
To Merge or Not to Merge
There are three common approaches when it comes to financial planning as a couple:
Merge everything and share all income and expenses.
For couples that decide to go with one joint account, try using salary to determine contribution amounts. For example, if one person makes 60 per cent of the total household income, they would contribute that percentage of the total monthly joint bills. If there’s a large discrepancy in income, splitting expenses 50-50 could lead to problems later.
Create a joint account for shared expenses, while also maintaining separate accounts.
For joint accounts, follow the general rule that if the other person is splitting the expense, ask for their input before making the purchase. Consider a joint savings account for shared goals, such as saving for a wedding or purchasing a new home, or a joint checking account for common household bills. Consider separate accounts for more individual purchases, like clothing and entertainment, so you don’t have to ask your partner for permission to make the occasional luxury or experiential purchase.
Keep everything separate and split the bills.
Some well-founded reasons for keeping finances separate might include:
a. One person holds a significant amount of debt.
b. One person owns a business.
c. You have significantly different financial habits.
d. You psychologically need independence to feel safe and secure.
e. There is a history of mental illness, substance abuse, or a spending addiction.
Maximizing Resources
In Nigeria, anything and everything goes unchecked. Even the person asking others to pay Tax might not be paying Tax himself but in the developed countries such as the United States of America, the case is the opposite. Married couples often choose to file their taxes jointly, submitting one tax return together. In most cases, filing jointly qualifies for the highest standard tax deduction. And, because of the way married filing jointly tax brackets are structured, you may get a marriage bonus. If one spouse’s income is more than the other’s and they file jointly, the higher earner could potentially owe the government less than if they filed separately. The opposite is also true and the lower earner’s tax rate could increase. You will need to do the math to determine whether filing jointly or separately is more beneficial in your specific situation. If the option to choose to file married filing jointly or married filing separately is not obvious, try preparing practice forms for both filing options, then choose the way that works best.
Another way for couples to maximize their resources is by merging health insurance coverage. If you each have health insurance provided at work, review your coverages to determine whether you get savings by combining coverage under one policy or by switching to family coverage. Check to be sure you won’t incur additional fees if you join a family plan or decline your employer’s health insurance. And, if your preferred plan includes a Health Savings Account (HSA), set a plan for how you will contribute to and share that account.
As a married couple you can lower your auto insurance premiums using the same provider and combining your plans. While it may be simple to pick your current insurance provider, changing your insurer could significantly lower your rates. Take this opportunity to compare car insurance quotes and find the best deal for you.
the Prenup
If your financial situation is complicated, such as having children, property, or a business from a previous marriage, consider a prenuptial agreement that designates who is responsible for which debts and expenditures. You may also want to consider having separate retirement accounts. However, if you are both saving for retirement based on your income, you may not be fully optimizing your investments.
Plan for the Worst-Case Scenario
When a romantic partnership is new, you may not want to think about planning for potential tragedies. Better to be safe than sorry by making sure you and your partner have a plan for the worst-case scenario. Create an estate-planning folder that includes a will as well as power of attorney, life insurance policy, property titles, living trust, and beneficiary documents. Having your finances in order now will make it easier for your partner to carry on should the unthinkable happen.
When making large purchases together such as buying a house, consider establishing a plan to pay for and maintain that purchase. If you are ever faced with having to sell the house, you can split the proceeds depending on how much you’ve invested in it individually. The same goes for any financial commitments you’ve made for childcare, college education, or long-term care for yourself or your parents.
Consult with an Expert
Consult with a knowledgeable, licensed financial advisor to help you plan for your specific financial circumstances. They can provide expert guidance when it comes to taking more technical steps, like combining or sharing accounts, estate planning, saving for retirement, etc.
Set up your marriage for financial success and less conflict.