DIVORCE

When 50 Cent said “I can make many stupid mistakes but not just that of getting married. Imagine spending my whole life working just for you to come marry me and after a few years, you break up and own my property? Tyrese Gibson has no house now because he was ordered by the court to give the house to his wife and the baby. The man is out there struggling. I might not be that smart but I’ll never make such a mistake of getting married “ 

Bill Gates suffered the same fate. In his words, “I lost over $ 76 billion to my wife upon our divorce in 2021. I was worth over $152-billion by then. 

My divorce with my ex-wife Melinda was a sad thing but it had more implications on me because I lost a lot of money. I have a lot of responsibility for causing pain in my family but the reason for the divorce wasn’t just right. Melinda claimed that I was cheating on her based on the rumours she heard. And just when I wanted to explain things that her, she told me that she was gonna file for a divorce and I was gonna suffer. 2021 was the toughest year of my life.

She lied to the entire world that I was cheating on her and also turned our children against me. She cried and got public sympathy but deep down I was the one who cried most. Do you know what it means to lose $ 76 billion of the fortune you worked for all your life to a woman simply because she married and divorced you? I still cry anytime I think about it. But I think that’s just life for us men because as far as I’m concerned love is a fantasy and marriage isn’t meant for men.” 

The news report has it that “Bill Gates’s divorce from his ex-wife Melinda has been ranked the most expensive divorce of all time as the multi-billionaire lost over $ 76 billion upon their divorce to his wife.

Melinda was worth $ 130 million before their divorce but became a multi-billionaire after their divorce.

This act of getting married to a hardworking man who provides everything for the Woman including physical, emotional, spiritual and financial support and security for the Woman he loves so much that pretends to love him but loves his money, his wealth and gently buying time to scam him of all he ever worked for all in the name of marriage is very rampant with some Women.

Bill Gates was not far from the truth when he said that “love is a fantasy and marriage isn’t meant for men.” 

Men are the ones that love and love with all their hearts. Women love with their heads, not their hearts. And that is the reason why it is so easy for them to plan their moves from the start to the finish.

If you think you are in a marriage as a Man, think again. The Woman under your roof you called your Wife might just be using you for her profit.

Men and women often have different motivations for marrying; individual perspectives vary greatly from person to person. Individual motivations for marriage are diverse and multifaceted. 

Some common reasons for marriage for both men and women include a desire for companionship, love, emotional support, financial security, starting a family, and sharing a life. 

Additionally, cultural, religious, and personal values often play a significant role in the decision to marry. 

In all sincerity, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and each person’s reasons for marriage are unique to their circumstances and beliefs.

While Men marry for…

• Emotional Support: 
  Men seek companionship, affection, and emotional stability.
• Financial Security: 
  Marriage provides economic benefits, shared responsibilities, and stability.
• Family and Legacy: 
  Men want to build a family, secure their legacy, and leave a lasting impact.
• Social Status: 
  Marriage enhances social standing, respectability, and reputation.
• Intimacy and Sex: 
  Men value physical intimacy, affection, and a committed sexual partner.
• Partnership and Teamwork: 
  Men seek a partner to share life’s responsibilities and challenges.
• Personal Growth: 
  Marriage encourages personal development, maturity, and self-improvement.

Women on the other hand marry for…

• Emotional Connection: 
  Women prioritize emotional intimacy, understanding, and connection.
• Love and Commitment: 
  Women seek a deep, loving relationship and lifelong commitment.
• Financial Security: 
  Women value economic stability, shared financial responsibilities, and protection.
• Family and Children: 
  Women often desire to build a family, nurture children, and create a loving home.
• Social Support: 
  Marriage provides women with a supportive partner, emotional safety, and community.
• Personal Fulfillment: 
  Women seek personal growth, happiness, and fulfilment through marriage.
• Shared Life Experience: 
  Women want to share life’s joys, challenges, and adventures with a partner.

Commonly it is believed that both Men and Women get married for whatever reasons that are best known to them. 

But statistically, 

a. 88% of men and 84% of women cite love as the primary reason for marriage. But in most cases, it is never love in the real sense of love.

b. 70% of men and 76% of women value companionship as a key reason for marriage.

A companionship-based marriage prioritizes mutual support, emotional connection, and shared experiences. 

Their marriage is characterized by…

• Emotional Intimacy: 
  Deep understanding, empathy, and connection.
• Shared Interests:
  Common hobbies, passions, or activities.
• Mutual Support: 
  Emotional support, encouragement, and teamwork.
• Trust and Loyalty: 
  Unwavering commitment and fidelity.
• Communication: 
  Open, honest, and active listening.

And they both stand the chances of benefiting so much from one another such as…

• Emotional Security: 
  Feeling safe, supported, and understood.
• Social Connection: 
  Shared social experiences and friendships.
• Personal Growth: 
  Encouragement and support for individual development.
• Stress Relief: 
  Shared responsibilities and emotional support.
• Joy and Laughter: 
  Shared humour and joyful moments.

Their involvement with one another of course is never without its challenges but they handle their issues more maturely than others.

• Conflict Resolution: 
  Managing disagreements and conflicts.

*Maintaining Intimacy: 
Prioritizing emotional connection amidst busy lives.

• Balancing Independence: 
  Respecting individuality within the partnership.
• Evolving Interests: 
  Adapting to changing hobbies and passions.
• External Pressures: 
  Managing societal expectations and family dynamics.

As a result, these helped them to build a strong Companionship that is based on…

• Schedule quality time together.
• Engage in shared activities and hobbies.
• Practice active listening and empathy.
• Support each other’s goals and aspirations.
• Foster a sense of humour and playfulness.
• Prioritize communication and conflict resolution.
• Show appreciation and gratitude.

The Companionship-based Marriage has the finest models such as…

• Best Friends: 
  Prioritizing friendship and mutual support.
• Partnership: 
  Sharing responsibilities and decision-making.
• Team Players: 
  Collaborating on life’s challenges and goals.
• Emotional Intimacy: 
  Focusing on deep emotional connection.
• Shared Adventure: 
  Exploring life’s experiences together.

Statistically, 70% of couples cite companionship as a key factor in marital satisfaction. 

Not just that, couples who prioritize companionship report higher relationship quality than those who don’t.

Not only that, companionship-based marriages have lower divorce rates.

c. 61% of men and 57% of women prioritize financial security in marriage.

A marriage based on financial security prioritizes economic stability, mutual financial support, and shared financial goals. 

This type of marriage is characterized by…

• Financial Stability: 
  Shared economic security and stability.
• Mutual Financial Support:
  Supporting each other’s financial goals.
• Financial Planning: 
  Collaborative planning for future financial security.
• Economic Cooperation: 
  Shared financial decision-making and responsibility.
• Security and Protection: 
  Ensuring each other’s financial well-being.

The benefits that are attached to this type of marriage are enormous.

• Economic Stability: 
  Reduced financial stress and increased security.
• Increased Purchasing Power: 
  Shared income and expenses.
• Financial Flexibility: 
  Ability to pursue joint financial goals.
• Reduced Debt: 
  Shared responsibility for debt repayment.
• Long-term Security: 
  Planning for retirement and future financial needs.

Trust must be told, this type of marriage has its challenges; such as…

• Financial Disagreements: 
  Conflicting spending habits and priorities.
• Power Imbalance: 
  Unequal financial contribution or control.
• Financial Stress: 
  Managing debt, expenses, and financial uncertainty.
• Lack of Intimacy: 
  Prioritizing finances over emotional connection.
• External Pressures: 
  Managing societal expectations and family financial demands.

This type of marriage is intentional in building a Strong Financial Marriage. So they take their time to…

• Create a shared budget and financial plan.
• Prioritize open communication about finances.
• Set joint financial goals and work towards them.
• Establish a system for managing debt and expenses.
• Build an emergency fund and plan for retirement.
• Avoid financial secrets and hidden spending.
• Foster financial teamwork and cooperation.

Financial Marriage has fantastic models such as 

• Partnership: 
  Shared financial decision-making and responsibility.
• Team Players: 
  Collaborating on financial planning and goal-setting.
• Economic Cooperation: 
  Sharing financial resources and expertise.
• Financial Synergy: 
  Combining incomes and resources for mutual benefit.
• Security-focused: 
  Prioritizing financial stability and security.

Statistically, it has been proven that 61% of couples cite financial security as a key reason for marriage; most especially Women.

Not just that, couples who prioritize financial planning report higher relationship quality.

This might shock so many but it’s the fact. Financial disagreements are a top predictor of divorce.

Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 6:10 “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.”

Some Lady will do anything and everything possible to get married to a Man who has money even if the Man is much older or the ugliest Man on Earth.

So long he has money. Even if he couldn’t meet with their sexual desires; so long he has money he is the right Man for them.

The same Lady will be the first to walk out of the marriage if the money is no longer there. And for the greedy and evil menace among them, setting the Man up for divorce will be their next move. Just to have some share of his fortunes.

Two things that are destroying so many men is the Intimacy and Sex. Men fall into Women’s trap of love, relationship or marriage mostly because Men value physical intimacy, affection, and a committed sexual partner.

The very things they value and the Women are using them as a weapon against them. So many Men are weak when it comes to controlling their emotions in the area of sex.

And the master manipulators in the world called motivational speakers had given strength to this weakness in some Men with the idea that “Men are moved by what they see and the Women are moved by what they feel.”

So, they stage you up to see their beautiful faces masked with makeup and all artificial stuff and the majority of them went as far as fixing Breasts and Bottoms just to entrap their victims.

In Proverbs 4:25-26 King Solomon said, “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.”

It is an act of foolishness to be led by your heart and not with your head. In Jeremiah 17:9-10 it was said that “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

I love the translation that says, “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.

Most Ladies are pretenders. They are never in love with the Man in their lives. They are in love with themselves and are only using the Man for their benefit.

Men generally should learn to forget about love and use their heads just as the Woman in their life is doing.

Get a prenuptial agreement and get her to sign it before marriage. 

A prenuptial agreement (prenup) is a contract between two individuals planning to marry, outlining the division of assets, debts, and financial responsibilities in the event of divorce or death.

The purpose of this is to…

1. Protect individual assets and property
2. Clarify financial responsibilities and obligations
3. Establish spousal support terms
4. Define inheritance rights
5. Prevent disputes and litigation

Benefits:

1. Financial clarity and security
2. Reduced stress and anxiety
3. Protection of family businesses or inheritances
4. Encourages open communication and financial planning
5. Can reduce conflict during divorce proceedings

There is nothing wrong with it. 40% of couples consider prenups, and 20% of couples sign prenups.

The good news is that Prenups reduce divorce litigation by 50%.