In the next few hours, the year 2023 will come to an end. What will be left is you and whatever you’ve been able to acquire during the year be it wisdom, knowledge, information, understanding, or friendship. Whatever it is, is going to define the rest of your life starting from January 1, 2024, 00:00 am. My question to you is, what have you acquired in the year 2023?
Aristotle said; “A friend is one soul abiding in two bodies.” This means, that friendship with someone is having the same mindsets, thought patterns, ideas and views about life and being able to understand each other even without saying a word.
If you don’t have the same values and views about life, people and God as someone, then it makes no sense to associate yourself with such a person not to talk of doing business with the person or getting married to such a person no matter how nice you think the person is.
People keep friends for different reasons but a true friend sticks with you in hard times. In Prov 18:24 King Solomon gave us a perfect example of who a friend is.
A man who has friends must be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. NKJV
Here, King Solomon was telling us that if you want people to be friends with you, then you on your path have to make a move to be their friend first. People don’t befriend someone hostile to them and give them illness and ill-treatment the time.
This is one of the reasons why many Christians don’t do well in business or career. They are too judgmental and classify everyone that are not in the same faith as them as unbelievers and evil. Most especially we the Pentecostals. We believe that we’re the only set of individuals who will make eternity because of our Born Again status. But that’s not the truth.
In 1 Sam 16:7 God said to Prophet Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” To solidify what God said to Prophet Samuel, in Prov 4:23 King Solomon said, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
The heart of so many people is the source and the root of their problems. The reason why many are not having the desired answers to their prayers is because their heart is dark and evil towards their fellow human beings. And this was made clear in Psalm 24:3-6 when King David said, “Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. He will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God his Savior. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob.”
The reasons why many are not blessed by the Lord or vindicated of all their troubles is because they cannot ascend the hill of the Lord, they cannot stand in God’s holy place because their hands are not clean and their hearts are not pure. They are in the habit of running other people down and sharing innocent blood. These are the calibre of people Prophet Isaiah was referring to in Isa 59:1-8 saying; “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy,
That it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue has muttered perversity. No one calls for justice, nor does any plead for truth. They trust in empty words and speak lies; they conceive evil and bring forth iniquity. They hatch vipers’ eggs and weave the spider’s web; he who eats of their eggs dies, and from that which is crushed a viper breaks out. Their webs will not become garments, nor will they cover themselves with their works; their works are works of iniquity, and the act of violence is in their hands. Their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and destruction are in their paths. The way of peace they have not known, and there is no justice in their ways; they have made themselves crooked paths; whoever takes that way shall not know peace.”
You cannot bend to destroy others and expect God to bless you. It’s not possible, it has never been possible, and it will never be possible.
If you want to access the blessings of the Lord most importantly starting from the year 2024, you must learn to be genuinely friendly with people not by pretense. You cannot be the best of friend to anyone by pretending to be a friend when in fact you’re a ravenous wolf; as it was said in Gen 49:27. In the morning you devour the prey, and at night you divide the spoil. I love how Good News puts it that, you’re a vicious wolf. Morning and evening you kill and devour.” Meaning, you’re a killer.
It is not until you carry a Knife and cut someone’s Throat that you are a killer. No. Speaking ill words about someone behind them is the act of a killer. Doing something that is beneficiary to you and carrying your friend along is an act of a killer. Getting to know something or someone interested in hurting your friend and not letting your friend know is an act of a killer. Having the capacity to help your friend out of a major challenge and not do so is an act of a killer. It is not until you kill someone physically that you are a killer and a murderer. Your words, attitudes, and actions are more than enough to kill someone emotionally, mentally and psychologically, and that is evil, that is wickedness.
Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. GNT
We all must understand the fact that nothing stays forever. Meaning, that no friend can stick with you till eternity except God. Just as He said In Gen 26:3, “I will be with you and bless you”. When God says that He will be with you, or He is with you be sure that He is not going to come down and be with you in person. No way. It is human beings, people around you or strangers that he will use to prove Himself in your life and the individuals God will bring into your life can and will only be their either for a few moments, days, weeks, months, years or forever only God can tell. But trying to keep someone who is meant to be in your life for a moment for months or forever will be you creating serious problems for yourself. Learn to let go and let God.
I love the way GNT translate the same Prov 18:24 saying, “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.” You cannot keep forever someone who is meant to be in your life for a moment.
In 48 Laws of Power, Law 2 says, “Never put too much trust in friends. Learn how to use enemies. Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, he has more to prove. You have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. Friendship and love blind every man to their interests. Nobody believes a friend can betray” until they do.
Truth must be told, no one knows much about you until they spend much time with you. Time spent with friends allows them to know your weaknesses and strengths. No one attacks a City unless he knows the loss and the benefits of attacking the City. So also, no friend can become a prey against you unless the friend knows what you’re going to lose and what he or she is going to gain.
It is not all friendships that are meant to last. No! Keeping some people around you either as a friend or relatives can hinder the blessings of God in your life and it doesn’t matter whether the blessing is as a covenant God made with you or it’s just your purpose in life. Some people being in your life is a blessing to them but a curse to you. You have to separate yourself from such people.
In Gen 13:5-18 it was said that; “Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks and herds and tents. 6 Now the land was not able to support them that they might dwell together, for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together. And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. The Canaanites and the Perizzites then dwelt in the land.
So Abram said to Lot, “Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left.”
And Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere (before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah) like the garden of the Lord, like the l’nd of Egypt as you go toward Zoar. Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated from each other. Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom. But the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord.
And the Lord said to Abram after Lot had separated from him: “Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are — northward, southward, eastward, and westward; for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever. And I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered. Arise, walk in the land through its length and its width, for I give it to you.”
Then Abram moved his tent and went and dwelt by the terebinth trees of Mamre, which are in Hebron and built an altar there to the Lord.
Abraham was right amid God’s blessings for his life but he could not see it nor recognize it because his association with Lot was hindering him from seeing. He was walking In blessings but blindfolded with a curse. This is the reality of so many people. They have the blessings of God and yet they are operating their life under a curse.
Some people will never fulfil their destiny in life until some things die in their lives or some people are no longer part of their lives. As anointed as Prophet Isaiah was, he could not see the Lord until the King Uzziah died in Isa 6:1-13, then he cried out saying; “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one cried to another and said:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory!”
And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.
So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell amid a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged.”
Also, I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this person: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ “Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return and be healed.”
Then I said, “Lord, how long?” And He answered: “Until the cities are laid waste and without inhabitant, the houses are without a man, the land is utterly desolate, the Lord has removed men far away, and the forsaken places are many amid the land. But yet a tenth will be in it and will return and be for consuming, as a terebinth tree or as an oak, whose stump remains when it is cut down. So the holy seed shall be its stump.”
Isaiah had been a Prophet of God for years before now and yet he could not see the Lord nor know what his assignments and duties were in life. He was just floating just as many of us are doing today thinking we’re fulfilling the will of God for our lives.
I cried whenever I saw people wasting away all in the name of association. To everything under the sun, there is a time and a season as it was said in Eccl 3:1-8 that “To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
Missing out on time is missing out on purpose and being a friend to someone and still finding fulfilment in life and fulfil the same, we must understand the fact that there is a time to embrace a friendship or a relationship and a time to refrain from embracing a friendship or a relationship; it is not an act of wickedness it is the fulfilment of a law; the law of time and season.
We must understand that nothing lasts forever. We must learn to live life as it unfolds.
Holman Bible interpreted Prov 18:24 saying; “A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.”
We all must understand the fact that there are some friends and relatives who want to see us fail. It was Amnon’s friend Jonadab who was King David’s elder brother’s son that told Amnon King David’s son to rape Tamar and also taught him how to rape Tamar his younger sister King David’s daughter; born of the same father but a different mother. But little did Amnon know that the advice would lead to his death.
In 2 Sam 3:2, it was reported that “Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by Ahinoam the Jezreelitess”. Then in 2 Sam 13:1-22 and 2 Sam 13:23-33 respectfully it was reported that; “Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” Now she had on a robe of many colours, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.
Then Tamar put ashes on her head, tore her robe of many colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister Tamar.
And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”
But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go, and he blessed him.
Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.”
And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.” So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.
And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom, this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”
The kind of friends you keep determines how close you are to the Grave. So many people are dead today because of their association with the wrong set of individuals as TLB translation puts it; “There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When at the same time, so many people have come to the limelight as a result of their association with some individuals I referred to as a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Such a friend was Jonathan. Even though Jonathan knew that the throne of Israel was naturally supposed to come to him after the death of his father King Saul, Jonathan still supported David his friend against his father.
I learnt a lot from the life of Jonathan. While his friendship with David made David the King of Israel, his association with his father led to his early death. His audacity as a friend practically demonstrated the words of C.S. Lewis when he said “Hence (if you will not misunderstand me) the exquisite arbitrariness and irresponsibility of this love. I have no duty to be anyone’s Friend and no man in the world must be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
So many records of Jonathan’s love for David in the Bible. In 1 Sam 18:1-4 it was said that; “Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his soul. Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armour, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.
Again in 1 Sam 19:1-7, it was recorded that, “Now Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and all his servants, that they should kill David; but Jonathan, Saul’s son, delighted greatly in David. So Jonathan told David, saying, “My father Saul seeks to kill you. Therefore please be on your guard until morning, and stay in a secret place and hide. And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak with my father about you. Then what I observe, I will tell you.”
Thus Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father, and said to him, “Let not the king sin against his servant, against David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his works have been very good toward you. For he took his life in his hands and killed the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great deliverance for all Israel. You saw it and rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood, to kill David without a cause?” So Saul heeded the voice of Jonathan, and Saul swore, “As the Lord lives, he shall not be killed.” Then Jonathan called David, and Jonathan told him all these things. So Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as in times past.”
What blew my mind was the record of his love for David in 1 Samuel 20; the same man that was about to take his place in destiny; the same place of destiny his father was trying to secure for him.
It was said that; “David got out of Naioth in Ramah alive and went to Jonathan. “What do I do now? What wrong have I inflicted on your father that makes him so determined to kill me?”
“Nothing,” said Jonathan. “You’ve done nothing wrong. And you’re not going to die. You’re not! My father tells me everything. He does nothing, whether big or little, without confiding in me. So why would he do this behind my back? It can’t be.”
But David said, “Your father knows that we are the best of friends. So he says to himself, ‘Jonathan must know nothing of this. If he does, he’ll side with David.’ But it’s true — as sure as God lives, and as sure as you’re alive before me right now — he’s determined to kill me.”
Jonathan said, “Tell me what you have in mind. I’ll do anything for you.”
David said, “Tomorrow marks the New Moon. I’m scheduled to eat dinner with the king. Instead, I’ll go hide in the field until the evening of the third. If your father misses me, say, ‘David asked if he could run down to Bethlehem, his hometown, for an anniversary reunion, and worship with his family.’ If he says, ‘Good!’ then I’m safe. But if he gets angry, you’ll know for sure that he’s made up his mind to kill me. Oh, stick with me in this. You’ve entered into a covenant of God with me, remember! If I’m in the wrong, go ahead and kill me yourself. Why bother giving me up to your father?”
“Never!” exclaimed Jonathan. “I’d never do that! If I get the slightest hint that my father is fixated on killing you, I’ll tell you.”
David asked, “And whom will you get to tell me if your father comes back with a harsh answer?”
“Come outside,” said Jonathan. “Let’s go to the field.” When the two of them were out in the field, Jonathan said, “As God, the God of Israel, is my witness, by this time tomorrow I’ll get it out of my father how he feels about you. Then I’ll let you know what I learn. May God do his worst to me if I let you down! If my father still intends to kill you, I’ll tell you and get you out of here in one piece. And God be with you as he’s been with my father! If I make it through this alive, continue to be my covenant friend. And if I die, keep the covenant friendship with my family — forever. And when God finally rids the earth of David’s enemies, stay loyal to Jonathan!” Jonathan repeated his pledge of love and friendship for David. He loved David more than his soul!
Jonathan then laid out his plan: “Tomorrow is the New Moon, and you’ll be missed when you don’t show up for dinner. On the third day, when they’ve quit expecting you, come to the place where you hid before, and wait beside that big boulder. I’ll shoot three arrows in the direction of the boulder. Then I’ll send off my servant, ‘Go find the arrows.’ If I yell after the servant, ‘The arrows are on this side! Retrieve them!’ that’s the signal that you can return safely — as God lives, not a thing to fear! But if I yell, ‘The arrows are farther out!’ then run for it — God wants you out of here! Regarding all the things we’ve discussed, remember that God’s in on this with us to the very end!”
David hid in the field. On the holiday of the New Moon, the king came to the table to eat. He sat where he always sat, the place against the wall, with Jonathan across the table and Abner at Saul’s side. But David’s seat was empty. Saul didn’t mention it at the time, thinking, “Something’s happened that’s made him unclean. That’s it — he’s probably unclean for the holy meal.”
But the day after the New Moon, day two of the holiday, David’s seat was still empty. Saul asked Jonathan his son, “So where’s that son of Jesse? He hasn’t eaten with us either yesterday or today.”
Jonathan said, “David asked my special permission to go to Bethlehem. He said, ‘Give me leave to attend a family reunion back home. My brothers have ordered me to be there. If it seems all right to you, let me go and see my brothers.’ That’s why he’s not here at the king’s table.”
Saul exploded in anger at Jonathan: “You son of a slut! Don’t you think I know that you’re in cahoots with the son of Jesse, disgracing both you and your mother? For as long as the son of Jesse is walking around free on this earth, your future in this kingdom is at risk. Now go get him. Bring him here. From this moment, he’s as good as dead!”
Jonathan stood up to his father. “Why dead? What’s he done?”
Saul threw his spear at him to kill him. That convinced Jonathan that his father was fixated on killing David.
Jonathan stormed from the table, furiously angry, and ate nothing the rest of the day, upset for David and smarting under the humiliation from his father.
In the morning, Jonathan went to the field for an appointment with David. He had his young servant with him. He told the servant, “Run and get the arrows I’m about to shoot.” The boy started running and Jonathan shot an arrow way beyond him. As the boy came to the area where the arrow had been shot, Jonathan yelled out, “Isn’t the arrow farther out?” He yelled again, “Hurry! Quickly! Don’t just stand there!” Jonathan’s servant then picked up the arrow and brought it to his master. The boy, of course, knew nothing of what was going on. Only Jonathan and David knew.
Jonathan gave his quiver and bow to the boy and sent him back to town. After the servant was gone, David got up from his hiding place beside the boulder, then fell on his face to the ground — three times prostrating himself! And then they kissed one another and wept, friend over friend, David weeping especially hard.
Jonathan said, “Go in peace! The two of us have vowed friendship in God’s name, saying, ‘God will be the bond between me and you and between my children and your children forever!’”
Anyone who cannot stick out his or her neck for you as a friend is never your friend. Such a person is a pretender around you and the person will stop at nothing to destroy you. But a true friend is a perfect description of what Jesus said in John 15:11-17; “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another.”
Without good and quality friendship that is based on true love for the person you considered as a friend you cannot receive from the Lord whatever you ask of the Lord. It is not God that will come down and help you, it is the people you love and are friendly with that the Lord will use to bring about His blessings upon you. Muhammad Ali said; “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you haven’t learned anything.” He is never far from the truth.
I love what Woodrow Wilson that; “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” I once heard a friend saying that “a day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside. Never forget this simple fact.”
Choose your friends wisely in the coming year. You can’t afford to end the year the same way you start the year. I leave you with the words of Henry Ford; “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”
Happy New Year. See you in 2024