Be careful with the person who is giving you marital advice. My Grandmother used to say, “Ko si eni to mo adun igbeyawo bi o ba dan wo ni emeji”. That is, no one who has not been married twice can tell what marriage truly is.
No one prays for divorce, but to the best of my knowledge, those who understand what marriage truly is are the individuals who have been married more than once either as a Man or a Lady.
Most of the people who are married once and still in the marriage are not enjoying their marriage; don’t let anyone deceive you.
This post is a result of a conversation I had with a friend recently and my friend said; “Satan is attacking marriages and the Christians need to pray”. I was upset when I heard that. Only the Christians especially the Born Again Christians -BAC- that goes about shouting Satan is attacking marriages. How come Satan is not attacking the Muslim marriages, the Hindu marriages, the Traditional worshipper’s marriages etc? How come it’s only the Christian marriages that are being attacked?
There are so many wrong teachings in the church about marriage. And it breaks my heart when I see someone suffering in his or her marriage and yet faithing it because he or she is a Pastor, church leader or even a member and the person doesn’t want people to mock him or her.
I saw a video of a Pastor who abused and molested his wife for so many years until the Lady killed herself. A man of God’s wife was once very sick to the point of death simply because of the silence the husband silent her from having a say in the marriage and the verbal/public abuse the husband was melting on her all in the name of preaching, most importantly when teaching about marriage. According to the Man of God, the Bible says, he is the head of the house and whatever he says is final. My question is, “What kind of a head are you when your brain is not working as a Man?” I once heard the man of God say, “My words are final in my house. When I spoke, everyone aligned themselves including my Wife”.
That sounds good in the ear but never good for the heart. Most especially when you said that in a large congregation of people, your Wife is sitting right there. That’s a slap on her face and a total disrespect to her person. You just made the entire congregation realize that she doesn’t have a say in the marriage, her place is to listen to you and do whatever you command her to do. That’s a Master-slave relationship, that’s not a marriage.
When the woman came back from the land of the dead, she fought the Man of God systematically to deliver herself. The Wife would have left him, but doing so would be the end of their ministry empire. We have no idea what many people are going through in their marriages and that is the main reason why I tell people to be careful with those who are painting their marriages to be heaven on earth. Someone is paying a hard price with his or her life to keep the marriage together; as the Man of God’s wife later said, “There is peace in the marriage not because the Man is right all the time, but because someone chooses to allow peace to reign”. That was the end of the man’s bragging.
It’s not wise when your son becomes your competitor. No child will ever go against the parents who have his or her house in order.
The best marital advice we can get is the one we give ourselves, and that depends on the soundness of our hearts and the functionality of our brains. Stop listening to people who are suffering in their marriage or abusing their spouse and still projecting themselves as a saint. I’m not judging and I will never do such. I’m only helping you to see the reality of life. Go and watch the movie “The Counselor”. It’s a true-life movie I think.
I know people are in the habit of judging others with marital status and bearing children, it’s a way of ridiculing someone to believe that his/her life is incomplete without a husband, wife or children. Please note that many are married and depressed and some are even on the verge of committing suicide due to societal pressure, abuse, neglect or maltreatment from their spouse. Visit mental homes, the majority of the people there are there due to marital or relationship challenges, especially the Ladies.
Place your mental well-being above every other thing and person. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you or make you feel ashamed of the person you are. Give your heart only to that one person who appreciates you and values you above all other things and persons. Don’t give up on your dreams or career because of a marriage. Don’t turn your back on the good people who wish you well because your spouse-to-be doesn’t like them. Anyone who cuts you off your good associations and false you to give up on your dreams, career and aspirations will end up destroying you and abandoning you to yourself. Wake up.
Marriage is good only when you are married to someone who wishes you the best and supports you to be the best you can be. Anything outside of that is your prison yard. Escape if you have enough sense.
The belief that God created man to be more important and above woman in creation and in marriage is a controversial and debated topic among different religious traditions. In Christianity, there are varying interpretations of the relationship between men and women based on different passages in the Bible. Similarly, in Islam, there are differing interpretations of the roles and status of men and women in marriage and society.
In Christianity, some interpretations of certain biblical passages suggest that man was created first and woman was created from man, leading to the belief that man holds a position of authority over woman. However, other interpretations emphasize the equality of men and women in the eyes of God, citing passages that highlight the importance of mutual respect, love, and partnership in marriage.
In Islam, the Quran teaches that men and women are equal in the sight of God and that both have rights and responsibilities in marriage and society. While there are differences in the roles and responsibilities of men and women in Islam, the overarching principle is one of mutual respect, cooperation, and support in marriage and family life.
It is important to note that interpretations of religious texts and teachings can vary among individuals and religious scholars, and cultural and societal factors can also influence beliefs about gender roles and relationships. Ultimately, many religious traditions emphasize the importance of mutual respect, love, and partnership between men and women in marriage and in all aspects of life.
There are many reasons why women may choose to remain in a bad marriage, including:
Cultural or religious beliefs: Some women may feel pressure from their cultural or religious community to stay in the marriage, even if it is unhealthy or abusive.
Fear of judgment: Women may worry about what others will think if they leave their marriage, and may fear being judged or stigmatized for their decision.
Hope for change: Some women may hold onto the hope that their spouse will change or that the relationship will improve over time.
Emotional attachment: Women may have a deep emotional attachment to their spouse and may find it difficult to let go of the relationship, even if it is causing them harm.
Lack of support: Women may feel isolated and may lack the support they need to leave the marriage, whether it be from friends, family, or community resources.
It Is important to remember that every individual’s situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to why women may choose to remain in a bad marriage. It is important for women in this situation to seek support and guidance from trusted friends, family members, or professionals to help them make the best decision for themselves and their well-being.
The spiritual implications of a wife not being happy with her husband can vary depending on the beliefs and values of the individuals involved. In some spiritual traditions, marriage is seen as a sacred union that is meant to be honored and respected, and unhappiness in a marriage may be viewed as a test of faith or a challenge to overcome through prayer, forgiveness, and patience.
On the other hand, some spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of personal happiness and well-being, and may encourage individuals to seek out healthy and fulfilling relationships, even if that means ending a marriage that is causing unhappiness and suffering.
Ultimately, the spiritual implications of a wife not being happy with her husband will depend on the specific beliefs and values of the individuals involved, as well as their understanding of their spiritual teachings and principles. It is important for individuals in this situation to seek guidance and support from their spiritual community, as well as from trusted friends, family members, or professionals, to help them navigate the challenges they may be facing in their marriage.
In many spiritual traditions, the way a person treats their spouse, particularly their wife, is seen as a reflection of their character and their relationship with the divine. If a man is not treating his wife well, it can have spiritual implications that may hinder his prayers or connection with the divine for several reasons:
Lack of respect: Treating one’s spouse with disrespect or cruelty goes against the principles of many spiritual teachings, which emphasize the importance of love, compassion, and kindness towards others. If a man is not treating his wife well, it may indicate a lack of respect for her as a person and for the sacred bond of marriage.
Disharmony in the relationship: A marriage is meant to be a partnership based on mutual respect, love, and support. If a man is not treating his wife well, it can create disharmony and conflict in the relationship, which can affect his spiritual well-being and connection with the divine.
Hypocrisy: If a man claims to be a devout follower of a spiritual tradition but does not treat his wife well, it can be seen as hypocritical behavior that goes against the values and teachings of that tradition. Hypocrisy can create a barrier between a person and their spiritual practice, hindering their prayers and spiritual growth.
Karmic consequences: Some spiritual traditions believe in the concept of karma, which suggests that our actions have consequences that affect our spiritual well-being and future experiences. If a man mistreats his wife, he may be accumulating negative karma that can hinder his prayers and spiritual progress.
Ultimately, the way a man treats his wife can have profound spiritual implications that may affect his prayers and relationship with the divine. It is important for individuals to reflect on their behavior, seek forgiveness and reconciliation where necessary, and strive to cultivate love, respect, and compassion in their relationships.
When a man hurts his wife, whether emotionally, physically, or psychologically, it can have significant spiritual implications for him. Some of the potential consequences include:
Guilt and remorse: Hurting a spouse can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse, which can weigh heavily on a person’s conscience and spiritual well-being. These negative emotions can hinder a man’s ability to connect with his spiritual beliefs and practices.
Broken trust and damaged relationships: Hurting a spouse can damage the trust and intimacy in the relationship, leading to feelings of distance and disconnection. This can also impact a man’s spiritual connection, as healthy relationships are often seen as a reflection of one’s spiritual well-being.
Negative karma: In some spiritual traditions, the concept of karma suggests that our actions have consequences that affect our spiritual well-being and future experiences. Hurting one’s spouse can create negative karma that may impact a man’s spiritual growth and development.
Separation from the divine: Hurting a spouse can create a barrier between a person and their spiritual beliefs or practices. Feelings of guilt, shame, and disconnection from one’s partner can also lead to a sense of separation from the divine or higher power.
Loss of spiritual integrity: Hurting a spouse can be seen as a violation of spiritual principles such as love, compassion, and respect for others. This can lead to a loss of spiritual integrity and a sense of dissonance between one’s actions and beliefs.
It is important for a man who has hurt his wife to take responsibility for his actions, seek forgiveness, and work towards healing and reconciliation in the relationship. This may involve seeking counseling, therapy, or guidance from spiritual leaders to address the underlying issues that led to the hurtful behavior and to work towards personal growth and spiritual renewal.
The consequences of a wife hurting her husband can vary depending on the severity of the hurt and the dynamics of their relationship. Some potential consequences may include:
Damage to the trust and intimacy in the relationship: When a wife hurts her husband, it can lead to a breakdown in trust and intimacy between them. The husband may struggle to trust his wife again, leading to feelings of betrayal and resentment.
Emotional and psychological impact: The husband may experience a range of negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, and confusion, as a result of being hurt by his wife. This can have a significant impact on his mental health and well-being.
Communication breakdown: Hurtful actions or words can lead to a breakdown in communication between the wife and husband. This can make it difficult for them to resolve conflicts and work through their issues effectively.
Relationship strain: The hurt caused by the wife can put a strain on the relationship, leading to increased tension and conflict. This can create a toxic environment that is detrimental to both partners’ emotional and physical well-being.
Potential separation or divorce: In some cases, the hurt caused by the wife may be so severe that it leads to a breakdown of the marriage. If the husband is unable to forgive his wife or move past the hurt, it may ultimately lead to separation or divorce.
Overall, the consequences of a wife hurting her husband can be significant and long-lasting. It is important for both partners to communicate openly, seek support, and work towards healing and reconciliation in order to rebuild their relationship.
Sam Adeoye
