By Sam Adeoye
Religion and falsehoods about marriage have made many believe that a fruitful marriage is a marriage that is blessed with children, money and all the materialistic things money can buy; but unfortunately, that is not so.
Some marriages have children and the children are nothing but a disgrace to the parents and the Society at large, that is not a fruitful marriage. Some marriages have all the money, wealth and everything money can buy and yet no joy, no happiness, everyone in the marriage lives like a prisoner and slave; my friend, that is not a marriage, that is a prison yard.
A fruitful marriage cannot be defined by money even though money is important to some extent to survive and sustain the marriage in terms of feeding, clothing and taking care of bills.
A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where comfort, contentment and friendship reign. It’s a marriage where the Man and the Wife are comfortable being with each other and are ready and willing to support each other’s dreams and aspirations and never be in a competition against each other or trying to take advantage of one another.
A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where both the Man and his Wife are content with what they have and are managing their lives with it without any complaints of any kind while working towards a better tomorrow.
It’s a marriage where teamwork works and never a boss and a subordinate. It’s a marriage where everyone takes care of everything and everyone, and no one necessarily cares about who does what or whose responsibility it is to do XYZ. A marriage where anything and everything is everyone’s responsibility. That is a fruitful marriage.
A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where the spirit of friendship reigns between the husband, the Wife and the children. A marriage where everyone is everyone’s friend. No enemies. No jealousy. No hatred. No backstabbing. No negativity of any kind but true friendship.
In such a marriage, you don’t pray for love to reign, love is already reigning and it will be impossible for the enemies to penetrate such a marriage because it is a marriage that is established and is standing on a sure foundation.
A fruitful marriage is not money, wealth or having children; neither is it something you can pray for, no you can’t. A fruitful marriage is a marriage you work at by working on yourself and not on your partner. When your partner notices the changes in you, he/she will either fall in or fall out either way, don’t push for it, just be yourself.
Having a fruitful marriage requires effort, communication, and commitment from both partners. Here are some tips to help you have a successful and fulfilling marriage:
Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is key in any relationship. Make sure to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs to your partner in a respectful and understanding manner.
Show appreciation and gratitude: Make sure to show your partner that you appreciate them and all that they do for you. Small gestures of kindness and gratitude can go a long way in strengthening your bond.
Spend quality time together: Make time for each other and prioritize your relationship. Plan regular date nights, take trips together, or simply spend quality time at home enjoying each other’s company.
Support each other: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.
Resolve conflicts peacefully: Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully, without resorting to hurtful words or actions.
Keep the romance alive: Keep the spark alive in your marriage by continuing to show affection, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and keep the romance alive.
Work as a team: Remember that you and your partner are a team. Work together to overcome challenges, achieve goals, and build a strong and lasting relationship.
By following these tips and putting in the effort to nurture our marriage, we can have a fruitful and fulfilling relationship with our partner.
It Is an act of foolishness for anyone to believe that God will keep their marriage and make the marriage work without them doing all that is necessary and required on their part to make the marriage work, even when it’s falling apart.
I guess this is one lie that religion and the hypocrites have taught us over the years. Read your Bible or Quran well if you cannot study it, even God cannot keep a marriage or make a marriage work. None of the people who diligently serve God have a successful marriage. If He could, Sarah wouldn’t have left Abraham.
Abraham wouldn’t have ended up with Three Wives, Jacob with Four Wives, Moses with Two Wives, and David with Seventeen Wives and Two Hundred Sex partners, don’t even let me make mention of Solomon. None of the people God used in the Bible have a successful marriage. Isaac that have just one Wife ends up with a Wife to questions his decision and divides his home even turning the children against each other. Marriage will always fail once the motives for getting married are wrong.
It is not God’s responsibility to keep your marriage, it is your responsibility. Neither is it Satan’s fault that your marriage could not old, it is your fault. When a sense of taking responsibility is lost or lacking in a marriage, then life becomes unbearable to live. If your marriage is not working, take responsibility for whatever it is and correct it. If it can no longer hold, take a walk before one person will kill the other. Wise up
Keeping your marriage strong and healthy requires ongoing effort and commitment from both partners. Here are some tips to help you maintain a happy and fulfilling marriage:
Communicate regularly: Make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Discuss your thoughts, feelings, and needs, and listen to your partner’s perspective as well.
Show appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner regularly. Acknowledge their efforts and show them that you value and love them.
Spend quality time together: Make time for each other and prioritize your relationship. Plan activities that you both enjoy and create special moments together.
Keep the romance alive: Keep the spark alive in your marriage by continuing to show affection, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and keep the romance alive.
Support each other: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.
Resolve conflicts peacefully: Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully, without resorting to hurtful words or actions.
Work as a team: Remember that you and your partner are a team. Work together to overcome challenges, achieve goals, and build a strong and lasting relationship.
Seek help when needed: If you are facing challenges in your marriage that you cannot resolve on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can help you navigate difficult issues and strengthen your relationship.
By following these tips and making a conscious effort to nurture your marriage, you can keep your relationship strong and fulfilling for years to come.
However, taking responsibility for the success of your marriage is crucial in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship; and there are so many ways one can take responsibility for the success of their marriage, such as:
Communication: Take the initiative to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Be willing to listen, express your thoughts and feelings, and work together to resolve conflicts.
Self-awareness: Take the time to reflect on your behaviour, attitudes, and actions within the relationship. Be willing to acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility for them.
Commitment: Make a conscious effort to prioritize your marriage and invest time and effort into nurturing your relationship. Show your commitment to your partner through your actions and words.
Support: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer emotional support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.
Respect: Treat your partner with respect and kindness. Be mindful of their feelings, opinions, and boundaries, and strive to create a safe and supportive environment in your relationship.
Growth mindset: Be open to learning and growing together as a couple. Be willing to adapt, compromise, and work through challenges to strengthen your relationship.
Seek help when needed: If you are facing difficulties in your marriage that you cannot resolve on your own, be proactive in seeking help from a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and support in navigating complex issues.
By taking responsibility for the success of your marriage and actively working towards building a strong and healthy relationship, you can create a fulfilling and lasting partnership with your partner.
It is important to bear in mind that in a marriage, it is the responsibility of both partners, the husband and the wife, to work together to keep the relationship strong and healthy. Both partners play a crucial role in nurturing the marriage and ensuring its success. And there are some key points to consider which include:
Mutual responsibility: Both partners should take equal responsibility for the success of the marriage. It is important for both the husband and the wife to actively contribute to the relationship, communicate openly, and support each other.
Communication: Effective communication is essential in any relationship. Both partners should be willing to listen, express their thoughts and feelings, and work together to resolve conflicts and challenges.
Support: Both partners should be there for each other, offering emotional support, encouragement, and understanding in times of need. It is important to show care and compassion towards each other.
Commitment: Both partners should be committed to the marriage and willing to invest time and effort into nurturing the relationship. It is important to prioritize the marriage and make it a priority in your life.
Respect: Both partners should treat each other with respect, kindness, and consideration. It is important to value each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries.
Collaboration: Both partners should work together as a team, making joint decisions, setting goals, and facing challenges together. It is important to support each other and work towards common objectives.
Ultimately, a successful marriage requires mutual effort, commitment, and collaboration from both partners. By working together and taking responsibility for the health and well-being of the relationship, the husband and wife can create a strong and fulfilling partnership.
It is important for both husband and wife to feel safe and supportive in a marriage. But it’s so unfortunate that the majority of us still believe in this lie and falsehood that is of no use. Why support a Woman who cannot support you as a Man? Marriage is supposed to be both a Man’s and a Wife’s full responsibility to support one another and lead each other right.
Have we ever asked ourselves what happened to a marriage in a situation whereby the Man’s head is incorrect but the Wife’s head is well functioning and yet the Wife still wants him to act as her Man and be up and lead? That is a failed mission. If as a Man you are not capable of leading your family and your Wife is, let her lead. It is better that you marry a Lady who can support you and see you accomplishing your dreams than to settle down for one that will further destroy you.
Men, marry a lady who can freely step in when you are incapacitated to lead, and Ladies, marry a Man who can help you birth your dreams into reality, not the one who will kill them. If your life is not moving forward after getting married to that Lady or that Man, then you are in prison not in a marriage.
Now, it is important to note that Ladies are not the only ones who are entitled to safety in a marriage. As you want to feel safe being with a Man, the Man also wants to feel safe being with you. The question is, while you are safe with him, is he also safe with you?
Feeling safe in a marriage is crucial for the health and well-being of both partners and the relationship as a whole. Here are some reasons why feeling safe in a marriage is important:
Emotional security: Feeling safe in a marriage provides emotional security and stability. It allows both partners to be vulnerable, express their thoughts and feelings openly, and trust that they will be supported and understood by their spouse.
Trust: Feeling safe in a marriage fosters trust between partners. When both partners feel safe and secure in the relationship, they are more likely to trust each other, communicate openly, and rely on each other for support.
Communication: Feeling safe in a marriage encourages open and honest communication. When partners feel safe expressing their thoughts, feelings and needs without fear of judgment or criticism, it creates a safe space for effective communication and problem-solving.
Conflict resolution: Feeling safe in a marriage enables partners to address conflicts and disagreements healthily and constructively. When both partners feel safe expressing their concerns and working through issues together, it promotes understanding, compromise, and resolution.
Physical safety: Feeling safe in a marriage also includes physical safety. Both partners should feel physically safe and secure in the relationship, free from any form of abuse, violence, or harm.
Emotional support: Feeling safe in a marriage allows partners to provide emotional support and comfort to each other. When partners feel safe and secure in the relationship, they are more likely to offer empathy, understanding, and encouragement during challenging times.
Overall, feeling safe in a marriage is essential for building a strong and healthy relationship. It creates a foundation of trust, communication, and support that allows both partners to thrive and grow together. Prioritizing emotional and physical safety in a marriage can lead to a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
- Pastor Sam Adeoye lives in Lagos.
