I’ve heard many religious leaders, especially in the Church talking down on multiple marriages, I mean a man marrying more than one Wife or a Lady being the second or third Wife, but the truth is, there is nothing wrong with that. The scripture we often quote to back up our wrong teachings about Men having multiple marriages specifically talks about a Man who desires the office of a Bishop, not the Man who was called by God to be a Bishop because being a Bishop has no place in the five-fold ministries or the Apostolic/Apostles orders, but of a Man that desires to be a Bishop and this is where the problems lie, the very reasons why people can buy the title with money and a paper certificate given to them as a prove of their bishopry even when they Pastor a church that is less than Fifty people and have nothing substantial to offer.
It was clearly stated in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 that “If a man desires the office of a bishop, he desires a good work.
A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, able to teach; not given to wine, not an attacker, not greedy of filthy illegal gain; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; one that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) not a novice, lest being lifted with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”
It Is a Man who desires the title of a Bishop who is required and mandatory to marry one Wife. If you don’t desire to be a. Bishop and you can take care of the number of Wives you desire to have you are at liberty to marry as many Women as you can care for and love equally. That I doubt because Jesus himself said that you cannot love two people equally. You’ll surely love one more than the other.
I love one thing about Muslims when it comes to the issue of having multiple marriages. In Islam, men are allowed to marry up to four wives, as long as they can treat each wife fairly and equally. This practice is known as polygamy. However, it is important to note that polygamy is not a requirement in Islam, but rather a permission granted under certain circumstances.
Muslims believe that polygamy is allowed in Islam as a way to provide for widows and orphans, to protect women who may not be able to find a suitable husband otherwise, and to address other social and economic issues. It is also believed that polygamy can help maintain family stability and harmony in certain situations.
However, it is emphasized in Islam that a man must treat all of his wives with fairness, kindness, and respect. If a man is unable to do so, he is advised to marry only one wife. Additionally, a woman has the right to consent to a polygamous marriage, and she can include conditions in the marriage contract to protect her rights and ensure fair treatment.
Muslims believe that polygamy is a permissible practice in Islam, but it should be approached with caution and consideration for the well-being of all parties involved.
Even though some Christians leaders made us to believe that polygamy is wrong, I think that the question of whether polygamy is wrong is subjective and can vary depending on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs. In some societies and religions, polygamy is accepted and practiced, while in others it is considered unethical or immoral.
From a legal perspective, polygamy is illegal in many countries around the world due to concerns about gender equality, women’s rights, and the potential for exploitation and abuse within polygamous relationships. Critics of polygamy argue that it can lead to unequal power dynamics, jealousy, and emotional harm among spouses and children.
On the other hand, proponents of polygamy argue that it can provide financial and emotional support to multiple partners and their children, and that it can be a valid choice for consenting adults in certain circumstances.
Ultimately, whether polygamy is considered wrong or not is a matter of personal belief and perspective. It is important to consider the rights and well-being of all individuals involved in polygamous relationships and to ensure that all parties are treated with fairness, respect, and dignity.
Some of our Patriarchs of faith are Men of many wives…
Abraham had three wives mentioned in the Bible. His first wife was Sarah, who was also his half-sister (Genesis 20:12). Sarah was unable to bear children for many years, so she gave her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham as a concubine. Hagar bore Abraham a son named Ishmael (Genesis 16:1-16). Later, Sarah miraculously conceived and gave birth to Isaac, who was the child of promise (Genesis 21:1-7). He later married Keturah following the death of Sarah, his first wife (Genesis 23:2; 25:1).
Jacob – Jacob had two wives, Leah and Rachel, as well as their handmaids, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:15-30).
Moses had two wives mentioned in the Bible. His first wife was Zipporah, the daughter of Jethro, a Midianite priest (Exodus 2:21). Moses married Zipporah after fleeing Egypt and living in Midian for some time. They had two sons together, Gershom and Eliezer (Exodus 18:3-4).
There is also a mention of another wife of Moses in the Bible, but her name is not specified. In Numbers 12:1, it is mentioned that Moses’ sister, Miriam, and brother, Aaron, criticized Moses for marrying a Cushite woman. Some interpretations suggest that this Cushite woman could have been a second wife of Moses, but the details are not explicitly provided in the text.
King David – King David had multiple wives, including Michal, Abigail, Bathsheba, and others (2 Samuel 3:2-5).
King Solomon – According to the Bible, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3).
Gideon – Gideon had many wives and concubines (Judges 8:30).
Elkanah – Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah (1 Samuel 1:1-2).
Esau – Esau had multiple wives, including Judith, Basemath, and Mahalath (Genesis 26:34).
Lamech – Lamech, a descendant of Cain, had two wives, Adah and Zillah (Genesis 4:19-23).
These are individuals that God relate with one on one in their days and their impacts both in their generation and after their departure are still very much felt.
Not so many people will accept this and some married Ladies and religious bigotries will come for me, but take it or leave it, not every Lady will marry a single Man and not every Man will marry one Wife. We must understand the fact that life is about destiny, not religion or societal sentiments. If someone’s destiny is to marry a married Man and she’s running away from them she will be the one to suffer it. So also, if it is the destiny of a Man to marry more than one wife and he is sticking to one, he is the one that will suffer it and trust me, destiny has a way of dealing with us all and destiny will not stop until it becomes a reality. If the Wife does not leave, she might die and he will have no other choice than to remarry.
Yemi Akins Olakitan made a valid point on this when I posted a part of this article on Facebook. In his words, “I completely agree with the write up. Destinies defer and not everyone will marry one wife and not every woman will be first wife. There are many women in the church today, age 40 and 50 and there is no husband, no children. So, if a married man comes their way and ask for their hands in marriage, they should quote Bible and reject it? I don’t think so.
Destinies stand. Simply because sister Toke married at 23 to a single man does not mean sister Kemi will be so lucky, hence polygamy.
In the olden days, our women were always married because our fathers marry two or three. But today, what we find is that our men marry one wife but have 10 side chicks and 2 or 3 baby mama. There is nothing wrong with polygamy. Those that cannot cope with it should simply stick to monogamy, one wife. But those who can cope with the arrangement should go ahead. I don’t believe in the doomsday forecast about polygamy.
There are many monogamous marriage that are miserable. Many monogamous marriages ends in divorce. Marrying one wife is not a guarantee that one will have a successful marriage.”
My dear, if a married Man comes your way, grab him with your full chest and if as a Man marrying more than one Wife is your destiny, discuss it with your Wife and have an agreement, but most importantly, be sure that you can take care of her and her children, and your choice for doing so should not be for punishing your Wife or exhibit your ego. Have a good reason for your actions.
Please, note that the Bible does not explicitly condemn polygamy, as there are several instances of polygamous relationships among the patriarchs and kings in the Old Testament. However, it is important to note that the Bible also presents negative consequences and challenges associated with polygamy, such as jealousy, rivalry, and discord within families.
In the New Testament, the teachings of Jesus emphasize the importance of marriage as a union between one man and one woman. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus quotes from Genesis, stating, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This passage is often interpreted as promoting monogamous marriage. But in the true sense of things, it wasn’t God that said that in Genesis, it was Adam and that made the statement invalid. Second, Adam said “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Adam was not specifically made mentioned of the number of Wives, he simply said, “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Overall, while the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, it is clear that the ideal model of marriage presented in the Bible is monogamous, based on the teachings of Jesus and the principles of love, unity, and faithfulness within marriage.
In John 4:16-18 Jesus says unto the woman by the well, Go, call your husband, and come here. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, You have well said, I have no husband: for you have had five husbands; and he whom you now have is not your husband: in that said you truly.
This is a Woman who had been married five times and the sixth one is not even married to her yet but they are living together and Jesus Christ still reffered to him as her husband. Let’s explain this.
Marriage is all about peace of mind, happiness and fulfillment. Until you get it you don’t settle down for just Anything because marriage to a troubled person can destroy your life.
Marriage is not paying the bride price on the Lady and the Lady paying dowry on the Man. Once a Man and a Lady live together and have sex together, marriage has already taken place. Marriage is an agreement not a ceremony.
The Woman was in her sixth marriage and Jesus Christ did not lash on her and call her names. Why? Because Jesus Christ understands what destiny is and since that was her destiny, judging her or condemning her decisions to be married multiple times is justified.
Some of our Pastors who are teaching against multiple Wives are products of a second or third Wife. Some are even products of twenty Wife. If their fathers stopped at one as they are preaching today, I’m so sure that the majority of them will never be born. Be wise.
Sam Adeoye
