By Samuel Omolola Edema
Why do most men give up easily when asking a lady out? That’s the question Yewande, a member of our community asked recently. She shared her own story about meeting a man she was interested in at a comedy show three years ago. She described him as having all the qualities she liked, such as a beard, tallness, and a nice scent.
After talking for a while, the man asked for her phone number. They exchanged numbers, and a few days later, he invited her to go out for lunch. However, she turned down the invitation, and they haven’t spoken since. Yewande wondered why men give up so easily in situations like these.
Interestingly, Yewande is not alone, a lot of ladies are on this table of wondering why “he is not calling or coming again.” If you are having similar situation or wish to avoid such this article is specifically for you.
Finding a date and starting a relationship in today’s world is no longer as easy as it used to be… The fast pace of events, decision making process and distractions are too many and are majorly contributing to how men and women react to advances from the opposite sex. So when it comes to men “going the extra mile” to have a lady they want, is becoming reduced.
The simple answer to why some men “give up easily on ladies they want is that, “you are not the only one with whatever brought him to you” Honestly it is that simple… Yet there are much more reason which can include your responses and reaction while he was asking you out. Let’s examine these reasons below
1. Today’s men Have Options
While men will love to hun for what they truly desire, they are many options with almost the same qualities. “You are not the only one with whatever attracted him to you – you are not the only beautiful lady, you are not the only hard working lady, you are not the only one with good background or the only discipline or “responsible” lady. This fact is the first primary factor why today’s men are not usually “going the extra mile” to have a relationship.
2. Fear of Rejection!
Some ladies may be surprise about this, but the moment a man noticed the possibility of rejection, he will most times “Stop The Chase”. Rejection can be a tough thing to handle, and it can make people feel hurt and embarrassed. So, when a man is interested in a lady and wants to ask her out, he may worry that she will say no and reject his invitation. This fear of rejection can lead to self-doubt and make him hesitant to take the risk of asking her out.
3. Not Knowing the Right Things to say
Another reason is the fear of making a mistake or saying something wrong. Men may feel pressure to make a good impression and worry that they will mess up or say something that will turn the lady off. They may fear that they won’t be able to come up with the right words or that they will be judged for their approach. This fear of making a mistake can make them hesitant to ask a lady out because they want everything to go perfectly.
5. Lack of Right Motivation and Confidence.
Additionally, some men may lack confidence when it comes to dating. They may doubt their own attractiveness or worry that they don’t have enough to offer. They may compare themselves to others and feel inadequate, thinking that the lady they are interested in deserves someone better. This lack of confidence can make them believe that they don’t stand a chance, leading them to give up easily without even trying.
6. Responses and Reactions from the Lady.
Now, this is one major reason a lot of ladies are not aware of… Why proving “too difficult to get” with a guy you truly want? Like like some of the people that have asked this question… He stopped calling or asking them out after they turn him out on two or three occasion… Why not call him back? Why not ask for the date after. When a guy noticed this nonchalant attitude from ladies they are interested in, they smart guys usually walk away.
7. Societal Pressures and Expectations
Men may feel the need to conform to traditional gender roles, where they are expected to be the initiators and take the lead in pursuing a romantic relationship. However, this pressure can be intimidating, especially if they fear rejection or worry about not meeting societal standards of attractiveness or success. These external pressures can discourage them from asking a lady out, as they may fear they won’t measure up.
It’s important to remember that not all men fall into these categories, and every individual is unique. Some men are confident and fearless when it comes to dating, while others may struggle with their self-esteem or fear of rejection. Understanding and empathy can go a long way in supporting men and creating an environment where they feel comfortable expressing their interest without the fear of judgment or rejection.
Ultimately, it’s essential for men to remember that rejection is a natural part of dating, and it doesn’t define their worth as individuals. It takes courage to put oneself out there and ask someone out, and even if the answer is no, it doesn’t mean they are not worthy of love or companionship. With time and experience, men can build their confidence and overcome the fear of rejection, increasing their chances of finding a meaningful connection with someone special.
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