By Samuel Omolola Edema
Tayo was a young woman from Nigeria who fell in love with a man named Tunde. At first, Tunde seemed like the perfect partner – charming, funny, and attentive. However, as their relationship progressed, Tayo began to notice that Tunde’s behavior wasn’t quite right.
He would constantly belittle her, making fun of her looks, her intelligence, and her abilities. He would also isolate her from her friends and family, making it difficult for her to maintain any relationships outside of their own. Whenever Tayo tried to express her concerns or feelings, Tunde would dismiss them or tell her she was being too sensitive.
Despite feeling hurt and confused, Tayo tried to make things work with Tunde. She believed that she loved him and that he loved her in return. However, as time went on, Tunde’s emotional abuse only got worse. He would use manipulation and gaslighting to control Tayo, making her doubt her own thoughts and feelings.
Tayo became increasingly isolated and unhappy, but she was too afraid to leave Tunde. She feared that she wouldn’t be able to find anyone else who would love her, and that she would be alone forever. Tunde used these fears to his advantage, making her feel like she needed him in order to survive.
It wasn’t until Tayo finally mustered up the courage to confide in a trusted friend that she realized the truth about her situation. With the support of her loved ones, Tayo was able to leave Tunde and start the healing process.
Unfortunately, Tayo’s story is all too common in Nigeria and around the world. Emotional abuse is a serious problem that can have long-lasting effects on its victims. It’s important for people to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and to seek help if they or someone they know is experiencing it.
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Abusive relationships can take many forms, and not all abuse is physical. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, but it can be harder to recognise. If you think you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to take action to protect yourself. Here’s what you need to know.
Why Emotional Abuse is Difficult to Notice
Emotional abuse is often subtle and can be hard to recognize, especially if it’s been happening for a long time. Here are a few reasons why it can be difficult to identify emotional abuse:
It’s not always obvious: Emotional abuse can take many forms, such as criticism, humiliation, and manipulation. These behaviors can be hard to recognize as abusive, especially if they are done in a way that seems subtle or disguised as concern or care.
It can happen gradually: Emotional abuse often starts slowly and can escalate over time. This can make it hard to notice the changes in your relationship or recognize when the behavior has become abusive.
It can feel like love: Emotional abuse can sometimes be disguised as love or concern. An abusive partner may use their behavior to make you feel like they are the only one who cares for you, which can be confusing and hard to see as abuse.
10 Signs of Emotional Abuse
If you think you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship, here are some signs to look out for:
- Your partner criticizes everything you do and makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.
- Your partner isolates you from your friends and family and tries to control who you see and talk to.
- Your partner tries to control your behavior, such as what you wear or where you go.
- Your partner is jealous and accuses you of cheating or being unfaithful.
- Your partner belittles you and makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
- Your partner uses guilt or manipulation to get what they want.
- Your partner threatens you or makes you feel scared.
- Your partner uses your past mistakes against you to make you feel guilty or ashamed.
- Your partner makes you feel responsible for their feelings and behavior.
- Your partner dismisses your feelings and makes you feel like they don’t matter.
How Can I Help a Friend That is in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?
If you suspect that a friend is in an emotionally abusive relationship, here are some things you can do to help:
- Listen: Let your friend know that you are there for them and that you are willing to listen without judgment.
- Validate their feelings: Let your friend know that their feelings are valid and that they have the right to feel safe and respected in their relationship.
- Offer support: Offer practical support, such as helping them find a safe place to stay or accompanying them to appointments.
- Encourage them to seek help: Encourage your friend to seek help from a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can help them process their experiences and provide resources for leaving the relationship.
How to Get Out of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship can be difficult, but it’s important to prioritize your safety and well-being. Here are some steps you can take to leave an emotionally abusive relationship:
Reach out for help: Reach out to friends, family, or a professional for support and help in leaving the relationship.
Create a safety plan: Make a plan for leaving the relationship safely, including where you will go, who you will contact, and what you will take with you.
Cut off contact: Cut off contact with your abusive partner as much as possible, including
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- Samuel Omolola Edema is a certified relationship coach with over 10 years experience and founder of ADAM & EVE community on Facebook. Adam and Eve, where we live, love, learn and share our opinions, knowledge and experience on Dating, Relationship and Marriage. Join us with this link